Why I’ll (probably) never rank first in Google

Why I’ll (probably) never rank first in Google
Why I’ll (probably) never rank first in Google

Photocredit: http://spw.customer.netspace.net.au/dogown.htm

“Frasier Claire absolutely beating Tristan King!  This arena is rocking!  Let’s watch that replay again.”.

The ice hockey fight on my computer was about to be replayed several times for my friends’ amusement, despite my protest. Thankfully, it wasn’t me in the video clip – it was a hapless ice hockey player of the same name.

“Let’s watch it again!  I want to hear the commentator say it again!”.  My friend looked in my direction with a devious smile.  Although he’d known me for more than 20 years, this was something completely new to mock me about.  I couldn’t blame him. It’s not every day you get to see a namesake in a hockey fight – it was funny.  It’s also one of the reasons why I’ll probably never rank first in Google.

How namesakes beat me to Google: By a longshot

Let me be frank:  I don’t expect anyone to Google my name.  There are far more important people worth Googling.  It struck me, though, that I’ll probably never rank high in Google because of the linguistic algorithms (among other nerdy stuff) behind Google Search.

“She’s a fantastic fox” is another, racier namesake who’ll probably always be more important to Google.

It’s funny how language affects us all.   It could be worse, right?  I could be called John Smith.

Or Justin Bieber.

Bonus:  If you’re interested, here’s the video to my namesake’s unfortunate loss on Youtube.  Perhaps you had to be there, but my friends found it hilarious.  I’ll be rooting for you next time, Tristan.  (I won’t link to the fantastic fox namesake: as you can imagine, no matter how foxy, the content isn’t appropriate for all audiences ;-) .)

Question:  Has language affected you online, or have you had any run-ins with a namesake you didn’t know about?  Share in the comments below.

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